It’s annoying that sex toy marketing is so gendered. Our bodies have much in common: most of us have hands, mouths, butts—not to mention nerve endings sensitive to vibrations and caresses and smacks.
 

That said, there is something wonderful about using a toy in a way that feels hot and gender-affirming.
 

What precisely produces that experience is going to be different for each one of us. As transmasculine folks, we’re a diverse bunch: some of us top, some of us bottom; some of us haven’t taken T, some have. Some of us haven’t had any bottom surgery, while others have had meta and others still, phallo. Some of us want to use toys on ourselves, while others want to use toys only on our partners.
 

With that in mind, here are five sex toys for transmasculine folks. I’ve taken the approach of putting together a versatile toy bag, so that whether you want to use toys on yourself or your partner, whether you’ve taken any medical transition steps or not, there’s something here for you.
 

I’ve linked directly to each manufacturer’s site where possible. Independent retailers Come As You Are in Toronto, Venus Envy in Halifax, Good Vibes in San Francisco, Babeland in Seattle and SheVibe in New York are all good bets too, and most of them ship internationally.
 

A versatile classic: njoy Pure Wand

Do you like feeling the heft of a solid piece of steel? Do you enjoy the glint of metal in light? Can you imagine using a stunning piece of art as a massage tool and as a way to coax open a delicate hole? If so: please meet the njoy Pure Wand.
 

This toy is seven and a half inches of gorgeous stainless steel, which, unlike silicone, doesn’t retain odours after cleaning. It’s also fabulous for temperature play: dip it in ice water, or warm it up with body heat.
 

Smooth steel plus lube makes for easier entry than many silicone toys. This can be particularly helpful when bottoming for the first time, or when restarting insertive play after a long break. Steel is also compatible with silicone lube, which often lasts longer than water-based lube; a little bit of Überlube goes a long way.
 

Two round ends of different sizes mean you can adapt your play to different holes: the 1-inch-diameter end is an easy entry point for most beginners, while the 1.5-inch end is closer to the diameter of an average dildo. The round ends are particularly lovely on G-spots and prostates. Whether you want to explore your own holes or those of a partner, start with the smaller bulb, then shift to the larger one. Feel free to use lube from a front hole for anal entry—but don’t go back to the front hole without sanitizing the toy first.
 

For those feeling more ambitious: consider the njoy Eleven, so named for its eleven inches. The two ends of the Eleven are also larger than the Pure Wand, at 1.75 inches and 2 inches in diameter, respectively.

njoy’s toys aren’t hollow. They’re solid, which means they’re heavy and expensive and they’ll last forever.
 

Another timeless toy: Vibratex Magic Wand

It may not be called a Hitachi anymore—in 2013, Hitachi removed its name from the product and relaunched with distributor Vibratex—but the Magic Wand is still a classic for good reason. You can use the vibrations pretty much anywhere on the body—to relieve tight shoulder muscles, yes, and to stimulate the head of the penis or the crura of the clitoris or the perineum, on you or your partner. 
 

The Magic Wand is also a tool to turn just about any other toy into a vibrator. For example, if you’ve realized you love the larger bulb of the njoy Pure Wand inside you, you can try pressing the Magic Wand to the toy’s smaller bulb, and boom: you have a sleek, solid, stainless-steel vibrator to fill you up.
 

Another example: let’s say you and your partner are bondage aficionados, and you’ve tied up your partner beautifully. You’ve attached lovely metal clamps to their nipples. You can tug on those clamps and use the Magic Wand to send vibrations through to the nipples. You can also tie the Magic Wand directly to their crotch as part of your bondage. You can enjoy seeing them squirm, and if you’ve negotiated forced orgasms as part of your play, you can see just how many times they can come when the Magic Wand is roped to their crotch—or held in place with a forced-orgasm harness.
 

As always, the most important tip is to talk with your partner. Be honest about what you each like, what you don’t, what you’re curious about, what you’re scared of. Negotiate bravely and speak up when something’s not working. Discover new territory together.
 

Get the original, plug-in version, or for more flexibility, the cordless, waterproof one.

One great dick for fucking yourself or others: VixSkin Johnny

You don’t need a dick to have sex, to be trans, to be queer or to be a man. But you might find it very fun to have one—or several.
 

Pick a dick that feels like you. This could mean one that looks like a cis penis in your skin tone; it could mean a sleek, smooth abstract shape designed exclusively for fucking; it could mean a fantasy tentacle toy. 
 

Regardless of style, look for dual-density silicone: a firm inner core and a squishier outer core. This is a high quality, non-porous material that’s easy to clean and lasts a very long time. The line of VixSkin dicks from queer-owned Vixen Creations is queer legend for good reason. I’m partial to the Johnny: it has balls, which feels very gender-affirming, and at 1.75 inches in diameter, it’s large enough to need warming up but not so large that it’s inaccessible for most. The Johnny comes in three colours (vanilla, caramel and chocolate).
 

Just make sure to use water-based lube: silicone lube can quickly degrade silicone toys. Fuck Water Water-Based Lube, Hathor Sutil Rich and Sliquid Sassy are three popular options.
 

If you want to fuck someone else with your dick hands-free, pick a harness for your style. If you like leather: trans-male-owned-and-operated Aslan Leather is a Toronto-based company with both leather and vegan options; the Jaguar is a classic. In Portland, queer indie shop Switch Leather Co. makes the gorgeous Ramona by hand. If you want to fuck with secure and hot briefs: queer-owned SpareParts Tomboi Brief and SpareParts Tomboii Boxer Briefs are both comfortable and stable enough for hard fucking. If you want to attach a dick to your hand, try the Unicorn Collaborators KnuckleFucker. For your thigh: Unicorn Collaborators Thigh Harness. Or for your boot: Unicorn Collaborators KickFucker.
 

So, you have a dick that feels like you, a harness in your own style (if you want), the right lube. You can ask your deep-throat-loving partner for a blow job, and see what it’s like to meet their eyes as you sink all the way down. You can enjoy the feeling of teasing and then fucking your partner in the ways they like best: their front hole, if they have one and are so inclined; their ass, if they most crave you there.
 

Bonus points: if you’ve had phallo, and you still want to attach a second dick, check out the SpareParts Deuce harness, and enjoy double-penetrating your partner: once with your phallo dick, once with your favourite detachable dick.
 

Dicks aren’t just for topping, though. If you enjoy bottoming in your front hole (if you have one), your ass or both, you can ask your partner to fuck you while you are wearing your dick. Seeing your own dick bounce while your partner slides into you can be a very gender-affirming experience.

The best sleeves: FTM Pitstop PeenPocket Sleeve or Tenga Flip Hole Sleeve

No matter your anatomy, you can stroke yourself with your fingers. If you like wearing another dick, you can stroke that too. Either way, there are purpose-made strokers designed to make jacking off more pleasurable.

If you’ve had bottom growth from testosterone, including if you’ve had meta, try the FTM Pitstop PeenPocket Sleeve, made locally in Toronto. The ribbed sleeve surrounds your T dick and gives you more surface area to hold on to, and you can still feel pressure and tugging. At 3.6 inches in length, it’s on the shorter side; if you’re looking for a similar experience with a longer sleeve, try the 6-inches-in-length Transthetics Hot Rod. Both FTM Pitstop and Transthetics are trans-owned-and-operated businesses—made by and for the transmasculine community.
 

If you’ve had phallo, try the Tenga Flip Hole. Folks who’ve had phallo report good experiences with this sleeve, with or without an erectile device. This can be especially helpful if you don’t have an erectile implant and you want to experience penetrative sensation on your own. Your dick doesn’t need to be hard to be placed in the sleeve, as the entire sleeve opens on a hinge like a flip phone from the ’90s.
 

To use: put lube in your sleeve of choice, nestle your dick into the sleeve and then tug however it makes you happy.
 

Alone or with a partner, you can incorporate a stroker wherever you would’ve touched yourself with just your hands. For example, if you have a dynamic where your partner controls your orgasms, you might play with them directing you in when, where and how you come; they might tell you to use the stroker, then make yourself stop before you come, then repeat to their heart’s content.
 

Another example: if you have a partner gradually developing nerve sensation after phallo, you might use a combination of the Magic Wand and their favourite stroker to map out pleasurable sensations as nerves connect and come online.

A basic accessory kit: gloves, condoms, lube, bondage tape

This isn’t one toy. But it is a helpful small kit to keep with you.

Nitrile gloves are stretchy, safe for folks with latex allergies and hot. They make your hands smoother for fucking, and the sound of a glove snapping on is an imminent hotness happening audible cue for many a queer, fisting aficionado or no.
 

Latex and non-latex condoms can go on flesh dicks, detachable dicks and toys, and come in a variety of shapes and sizes. If you’ve had ALT phallo and are struggling to find condoms that accommodate your girth, try the condom sizer at One condoms; you can also ask your partner to wear an internal condom.
 

Lube makes everything slipperier in the best way. Don’t use silicone lube with silicone toys; stick with water-based instead. Silicone lube on metal toys is fine.
 

Gloves, condoms and lube are often advertised as safer sex supplies—and used correctly, they do help reduce the risk of STI transmission and pregnancy—but they have other benefits too. Smoother surfaces slide into holes more easily, and less resistance means more pleasure. And for those who want to train to take larger toys—in width or depth—less resistance is a godsend in training your muscles to expand to accommodate the dicks, hands or toys of your choice.
 

Finally, the most underrated tool in the kit: bondage tape. It’s cheap, it’s fun and you don’t need to learn how to tie an intricate body harness with rope to keep your bondage-desiring partner in one place. Bondage tape sticks to itself and not to hair or skin, so you can quickly wrap a bunch of it around your partner’s head to keep their mouth shut without worrying about duct tape pulling out hair or stinging skin when the scene ends. Also, you can get bondage tape in all kinds of colours, so whether you’re in more of an elegant black tape or Pride rainbow riot kind of mood, you can decorate yourself and your partner however you like.
 

As always, when playing with bondage, never cut off circulation, never leave your tied-up partner alone in a room and always agree on a safe word (if their mouth is free) or safe signal (if you’re gagging them) for them to tap out.